replied.. i got a reply.. i dunno.. but, i couldn't really feel the happiness i felt last time.. this entry.. has nothin to do with the previous one regardin my grandma.. i jus hav to blog this dwn.. cos its currently murderin me inside uh..
me.. i gt dependent on someone i hardly knew.. depended my smiles on tat person.. and somehow i understand the feeling of ppl leavin and comin back out of the blue.. yea, i mean.. i'm nt emotionally attached.. but, the hope u had of smilin.. somehow became no hope cos half way the guide u had jus faded.. lost.. den u jus realise u r the one who is the gong gong all the while... tat kinda thing.. i dunno.. oh gosh.. i really dunno wad i've actually gt myself into.. thought i had somethin new to look forward in life.. somethin to runaway from.. ah.. forget it la.. silly me...
today.. work.. johnson and johnson.. in the mornin gave dinie a wake up call.. money issues with the family.. today is practically seeing wad the ppl hav inside.. wad is inside of em.. wad they consist of.. wad is hidden.. everythin.. i guess its mostly abt life.. an INCREASE in tat.. gd news.. bad news.. grandma nt doin tat well.. but, we're all prepared.. pissed.. because impt ppl nt there to visit my grandma..
haiz.. F***... i thought i had found my key to smilin free..!! but.. it only lasted a while... i miss..... hate the "PoOFinG!!" effects... =(
[ Thnks.... i'm having fear.. trust issues.. why? i really dunno wad has come over me... do u? can help me find the reason? ]
m.C.