In the past.. i use to think.. it doesn't really matter to think abt wad u wanna be when u grow up.. somehow i've always been tryin to run away from this reality.. its amazing how it is actually catchin up with me every min every second.. it really matters though.. somehow or rather.. like the least u can have is like work towards ur goal or somethin.. i'm walkin aimlessly.. sharks..
when i received my posting results today, it somehow didn't really came to a shock to me.. expected.. one thing is true is tat with the effort i put in such results is attained is no surprise.. disappointing it is.. but, looks like all i can really do now is look forward and not look back.. but, wad really disappointed me the most is the interview results.. i wasn't even granted one.. it is sad to know abt that.. i guess i jus have to wake up.. but, at time i jus feel like i'm lost in the middle of nowhere with loads of paths in front of me.. but, somehow it seems like i'm jus day dreamin in the middle of nowhere, refusin to accept any help cause i'd rather be in my helpless state.. wad the hell do i wan in life is wad i really wanna know.. now things have happen i'm upset no doubt.. but, i guess i've gt to go through all this to learn.. i think i've gt to learn things the hard way.. but, definitely givin up is nt in my vocabulary.. i'll keep on movin.. i will.. MOVE ALONG..
somehow now i'm feelin the distance between those friends goin to poly.. a shame i have towards ppl in school now.. regrets i feel abt how much effort i could have put in.. but.. all is too late now.. i guess its true huh.. THE REASON WHY WE FALL IS SO THAT WE CAN LEARN TO PICK OURSELVES UP.. i will pick myself up.. but, jus really hope they won't give up on me..
thanks for all those nice words.. i mean those who called me and all.. really nice.. appreciate it loads.. I guess someday i'll know... someday..
Some Day's I Feel Like Shit, Some Day's I Wanna Quit & Just Be Normal For A Bit...
[ Wanted to cry on you.. hug you.. and so that i will feel the same way i always did when i was with you.. the feeling of * everything is gonna be ok*... thanks though.. even though nt physically there ur presence did me good somehow.. thanks.. =) ]
m.C.